Syndicated columnists

Art Buchwald

I'm from the era when newspapers had multiple pages for opinions - not only editorials, but also letters to the editor and syndicated columnists. Our local dailies had one to two such pages each issue. And with two dailies, there was room for a wide variety of columns representing differing views.   

I used to enjoy reading those pages, and, in particular, certain columnists. Two of the syndicated columnists I particularly enjoyed were Art Buchwald and Sydney Harris.

I dreamed of being a columnist myself. In college I created a column called The Pregnant Pause for the school newspaper. It was a mixture of humor, satire, and commentary, combining elements of Buchwald and Harris.

After college,  although I freelanced some articles, I did not work full-time as a journalist for a number of years. Then I was hired by the diocesan newspaper. I eventually became the associate editor, and regularly wrote editorials, getting a taste of fulfilling my dream. I even won a few awards for my editorials.

But after a decade I left the newspaper business to become a teacher, a career I also loved. 

By that point, the newspapers across the country were folding - including one of our two local dailies. Editorial pages were shrinking, with room for fewer columns, and many of the great columnists of the past retired or died. I also stopped reading newspapers as regularly, disappointed by their content - or lack thereof - and finding other news outlets online. As a result, I did not keep up with the kinds of columns still being written.

I started a blog, and used that as an outlet. But it was not the same as being a newspaper columnist. Few people saw what I wrote. 

Then blogs started to follow the newspapers into oblivion. 

Oh, there were other outlets - like podcasts - but I was a written word person, and did not follow those technological routes.

I still write - and blog. And I edit and write three newsletters. Nothing short of something like dementia or a stroke will stop me from expressing myself through writing. 

Who knows. Maybe syndicated columns will make a comeback before my gray cells go dark. 

After all, vinyl records are now cool again. 

Pax et bonum

Stand Together For Life, November 2025

Every Saturday, a group of Catholics gather outside Rochester’s Planned parenthood headquarters to pray. Every fourth Saturday they are joined by Protestant pro-lifers for “Stand Together for Life.”

The event always begins with a Rosary by the Catholics.

They are then joined by Protestant brothers and sisters.

The event includes music …

… and talks and prayers by various individuals.

The featured speaker this month was Tim Archer, Board President of Care Net of Greater Oleans (a nearby county). Care Net is a women’s center that provides free, onsite pregnancy services, resources and support.

We also heard form Jan, one of the leaders of the local Mom Mentors, a group that provides all sorts of social and material aid for women. That aid includes baby showers, food, clothing, furniture, rides, listening even in the middle of the night, and more.

We also heard form a woman from Syracuse about pro-life efforts there (Alas, I did not catch her name.)

Someone stuck this image above in a gap in Planned Parenthood’s wall. Meanwhile, some folks who had been there before the event left messages chalked on the sidewalk like this one -

The event ended with participants placing their hands on Planned Parenthood’s street-side wall and praying for the mothers, the fathers, the babies, and the workers.

We will continue until legal abortion ends.

Pax et bonum

Political poems

For my haiku group we were to bring in some of our political haiku/senryu. "Political" was defined as including not just actual elections or candidates, but also social issues subject to political debate.

Here are the ones I brought:

steady cold rain
election results
come trickling in

blood on the pavement
mother distracts child
with an old folk song

searcher hesitates
beneath the rubble
an overturned crib

outside the clinic
unmothered mothers slowly
walk to waiting cars

crow on a bare branch
outside the clinic
car door slams

walking in the woods
noticing all the mushrooms -
August 6

a break in the clouds
gave way to that sunrise –
Nagasaki

the morning prayers
rose heavenward that day –
Nagasaki

at Hiroshima
some dead left memorials
shadows on the wall

I've written other political poems that more directly focus on candidates, primarily poems in the clerihew format. I say "clerihew format" because they are not true clerihews. They lack the silliness, the whimsy that true clerihews have, and are much more polemical and satirical than true clerihews should be.

Some come closer to the form.

Assistant Coach Tim Walz
was enjoying some spaghetti and meatballs,
but then got a sick feeling in his belly
when an ad for tampons came on the telly.

Bernie Sanders
gets uneasy whenever he spots chameleons and salamanders.
He yells and waves his hands above his head
because he knows if they get near him they'll turn red.

Chris Cuomo
hates to be called "Fredo."
Still, he turns down Andy's offers to take
him fishing out on a lake.

Vermin Supreme
awoke from a bad dream.
In it, Democratic candidates at a joint ceremony
promised everyone a free pony.

Some of the others just don't make it as true clerihews.

Donald Trump
on the stump
will almost always spout a platitude
or something rude.

The eyes of former Vice President Biden
suddenly began to widen.
"Wait, you mean now that they say I've won,
people actually expect me to get something done???"

Former Vice President Joe Biden
is content to let gender definitions widen.
He has himself long used the trick
of identifying as a devout Roman Catholic.


Washington Archbishop Wilton Gregory
says, "Communion for cafeteria Catholic Biden is fine by me.
After all, I always try to enable
whenever I am able."

Former Vice President Joe Biden
watches Ukraine, the border, inflation, and his poll numbers slidin'.
With so much at stake
it's time for an ice cream break.

Former Vice President Joe Biden
caused some Royal eyes to widen.
His press people sighed, for from the start,
they've been battling accusations he's just an old fart.

Each encounter with Joe Biden
reveals what his handlers have been hidin':
Beneath that thinning hair,
there's less and less there there.

Good Jimmy Carter,
when it comes to presidents was one of the smarter.
Historians rank his presidency pretty low,
but it’s looking better these days thanks to “Scranton Joe.”

I don't know if J.D. Vance
has ever been to France,
but unlike Walz he doesn't lack
service to the nation in Iraq.

New York AG Letitia James
targeted Trump with legal games.
We might just see her smirking less
now that she faces her own legal mess.

Attorney General Letitia James
is fond of playing games.
Her latest was attending a trial and practicing her smirk
instead of showing up at the office to work.

Fani Willis
used Nathan Wade for some carnal bliss,
What drew him to her is not plain to see;
perhaps money and the odor of mendacity?

Fani Willis
with Nathan Wade sought illicit bliss.
Part of her appeal may have been her capacity
for mendacity.
.
Elizabeth Warren
campaigned in the restaurant of a Salvadoran.
When she tasted a pupusa she said,
"Why, this is just like my mother's Cherokee fry bread."

Senator Cory Booker
is more than a side-looker.
After all, as he told us,
he is Spartacus.

Ben Carson
has never been accused of committing arson.
That didn't stop Politico
from saying, "He may have, you know."

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo
set out to find a living dodo.
The closest he came, in the end,
were a couple of hosts at CNN.

I have a number of other political alleged clerihews, but they are so bad - given some of the ones I posted above you get an idea how bad they are - they are fit only for Twitter (X). But since I don't have a Twitter account, I'll spare the public and not post them!

Pax et bonum

All Souls Day

Today is All Souls Day. On this day we recall and pray for loved ones who have left this life. 

We pray that they have gone home to the Lord. 

 In my life I have lost some loved ones - members of my family and of my wife's family. 

 Nana Baxter, Grandma Strong, Mom, Dad, and my Brother in my family. 

In my wife's family I have lost Marge (mother), Frank (father), Aunt Toni, Nick (brother), and Cousin Joe.

One of my routines is to pray for individuals and groups at every Mass I attend. On Sundays I always pray for these deceased relatives. Today being All Souls Day adds to the routine. 

On this day, I ask them all to pray for me as well. 

 Pax et bonum

Some Scifaiku, Horrorku, And Related Poetry

Creative Solution

A doctor from South Aldersgate,
when asked why he never does date,
said, "Dating’s a pain,
and so I’ll refrain.
Besides, I can make my own mate."

despite some warnings
he started the new device
and

dental mishap
vampire faces centuries
of just blood pudding

at his sentencing
vampire grows even paler -
life without parole

mining rights sold
the full moon becomes
only a crescent

Halloween costume -
werewolf considers options
but full moon decides

time travel mishap -
alternative history
no longer fiction

Clouds

shrouding

the full moon

will not stop the

wolf.

The

thirsting

grew until

sated by one

bite.

Last words

a

vulture

hungrily

circles above

me

New Colonist

she

quickly

learned that here

the spiders have

wings

in her last moment
she suddenly recognized
the werewolf's cologne.

Prolific Stephen King
can make horror out of anything.
His wife fears what he'd do
if he tried to barbecue.

apocalypse comes -
our final embrace will last
an eternity

through the rubble
a three-legged dog carries
a tibia

robot's Valentine
card bears the image of a
mechanical heart

supernova -
on some planet are wise ones
following its light?

Life form,
so alien
people run from it in
terror, is itself so aghast
it flees.

on the asteroid
slow dancing
in fading Earthlight

trying to recall
the species at the cantina -
pregnancy test

alien banquet -
host's toothy smile reveals bits
of missing crewman

two moons
rise above the
lunatic asylum
inspiring the Martian inmates
to howl

snow on snow on snow –
spring on the new colony
still two years away

the calculations
off by a decimal point -
debris field explained

researcher turns on
interdimensional door -
Who’s that knocking?

blind date takes
unexpected turn
her tattoos move

watching as the clone
learns to ride a bicycle -
sense of déjà vu

A doctor from South Aldersgate (limerick) Weird Tales August/September 2006

alien banquet - Random Planets 2019

apocalypse comes – Scifaikuest  AUG 2021 PRINT

at his sentencing - Scifaikuest November 2023

blind date takes - Scifaikuest November 2023 

Clouds shrouding (saturne) - Scifaikuest February 2023

Halloween costume (werewolf) – Scifaikuest online, February 2023

Last words (saturne) - Scifaikuest February 2023

“life form” (cinquain) in Scifaikuest May 2018

mining rights sold” Random Planets 2019

mining rights sold  Rochester Area Haiku Group 2020 Members’ Anthology

mirror with a painting (vampire teen) – Failed Haiku Volume 7 Issue 74 (February 2022)

New colonist (saturne) - Scifaikuest February 2023 

on the asteroid - Scifaikuest February 2019

researcher turns on - Scifaikuest November 2023

Robot’s valentine - Scifaikuest, February 2017

snow on snow on snow – Scifaikuest AUG 2021 ONLINE

Supernova - Scifaikuest – online – February 2017

the calculations Scifaikuest AUG 2021 ONLINE

The thirsting (saturne) - Scifaikuest February 2023 

through the rubble - Scifaikuest  AUG 2021 PRINT

time travel mishap – Scifaikuest online, February 2023

trying to recall - Skifaikuest February 2019 

     trying to recall – Failed Haiku Volume 7 Issue 74 (February 2022) 

two moons (cinquain) – Random Planets 2019

watching as the clone – Failed Haiku Volume 7 Issue 74 (February 2022) 

Pax et bonum

Weighing In

I weighed myself today and sighed.

I've had a life-long struggle with being overweight. When I was a child my mother used to have to shop in the department euphemistically called "husky." 

By the end of seventh grade, I was seriously overweight.

I decided I had to diet. I was helped by the fact that I also hit a growth spurt - six inched over the next two years. 

Suddenly I was skinny. I grew two more inches by the end of high school, hitting six foot. I also played basketball, ran track, and rode a bicycle everywhere. 

Between 14 and 24, I remained slender.

But then the weight came back. I dieted, and went off diets, repeatedly. My weight went up and down, but mostly up.

For years I've lead a relatively sedentary lifestyle as a writer and teacher, and then a retiree. l also have  a poor diet, full of carbohydrates and large portions, and I have a chronic sweet tooth.

Five years ago, to my shame, I found myself 50 pound overweight. I also found myself prediabetic.

Knowing my father was also very overweight and suffered a series of strokes, that many of my other relatives on my father's side suffered strokes and from heart issues, and that diabetes ran in my family, I decided I HAD to lose weight and cut back on unhealthy foods.

I did. I still fluctuated up and down, but never hitting that 50-pound level again. And I'm no longer prediabetic. 

This morning I weighed myself. I weigh about the same I did at this time last year - that's good - but I'm still about 15 pounds overweight.

Diet and exercise time. 

I hope to lose that weight over the next three months. It would be great if I could begin the new year at a healthy weight. 

Maybe I need to ask for help from St. Charles Borromeo, the patron saint of dieters!

O St. Charles, you are invoked as
the patron of all those who suffer
with stomach ailments and obesity.
You are also called upon as a helper
for all those attempting to diet and lose weight.
Please intercede for me today
and help me to control
my desires and compulsions,
so that I may fix my appetite
on the glory of heaven.

Amen.

Pax et bonum

It'll Come To Me ...

I've noted of late an increasing tendency to forget.

I struggle to recall the names of actors, authors, artists, characters, the titles of books and movies, and so on.

Mind you, I've always had a poor memory for names of people. When I was a teacher I had to have a seating chart in front of me so I could remember my students' names. If I saw them out of their seats or in the hall, forget it. Sort of like Kingsfield in the The Paper Chase.

As a reporter, and as a teacher of literature and history, I used to have a great memory for historical and literary names. As an actor, I used to remember so many lines, and as a musician so many lyrics and tunes (though sometimes I'd have to be prompted with the tunes during practices).

But the forgetting has become more pronounced. 

Getting older. Hopefully not developing any sort of dementia or Alzheimer's.

I know with the body you need to keep exercising to keep up strength. The brain is a muscle, too, and can be strengthened by use.

So I'm thinking a good exercise would be memorizing texts.

I already have some prayers committed to memory. And I have "A Visit from St. Nicholas" memorized for use in some of my Santa gigs. But there are other prayers and literary pieces that would be good to memorize. Some I have even already partly memorized.

A few potential works to memorize come to mind.

The St. Joseph Prayer

The Beatitudes

The Gettysburg Address

Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy Evening

Because I Could Not Stop For Death

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

That's a good start.

Now if I could only remember to carry copies of them with me!

 

Pax et bonum

Once More, Ancestry Updates

Once again, Ancestry has updated my results based on a growing data base. They've also added new regions, and broken down some of the previous regions.

Here's the new results:

• • Celtic & Gaelic

    • Donegal, IrelandNew29%
    • Central Scotland & Northern Ireland23%
    • Northern Wales & North West EnglandNew3%
    • Munster, IrelandNew2%

  • England

    • Southeastern England & Northwestern EuropeNew28%
    • West MidlandsNew9%

  • Nordic

    • Iceland3%

  • Western Europe

    • The Netherlands3%
    • 
      

The results last October were:

Ireland (Northern Ireland and - new - Ulster): 41%
England and Northwestern Europe: 38%
Denmark (new) 10%
Scotland: 6%
Iceland (a new region!): 3%
Germanic Europe: 2%

I lose Denmark! But I'm even more Celtic and Gaelic - 47% last year, now 54%/57% - the second figure including Northern Wales and Northwestern England. 

Here are other previous results:

August 2022.


Ireland 42%
England & Northwestern Europe 35%
Scotland 16%
Sweden & Denmark 7%

May 2022

Ireland 39%
England & Northwestern Europe 29%
Scotland 28%
Sweden & Denmark 4%

So now more Irish, English/Western Europe, and Sweden/Denmark, less Scottish. And overall less Celtic.

They have updated multiple times as they have gotten more people in their data base -

September 2021

Scotland - 57%
Ireland - 33% (with ties to Donegal)
England and Northwestern Europe - 10%.

2020

Scotland - 54%
Ireland (with strong links to Donegal) - 29%
England and Northwestern Europe - 13%
Wales - 3%
Norway - 1%

2018

Ireland/Scotland/Wales - 58 %.
Great Britain - 36 %.
Scandinavia is now Sweden, and dropped to just 4 %.
Germanic Europe - 2 %.

2014

Ireland - 56 %
Scandinavia - 16 %
Great Britain - 10 %
Iberian Peninsula - 8 %
Western Europe - 5 %
A few odd traces - 3 %

Pax et bonum