This morning before leaving for Mass I flipped on the television.
The movie Shakespeare in Love was on. I enjoyed the movie when it came out, but I knew there were problematic scenes of lovemaking and partial nudity.
Sure enough, one of those scenes came up. I guessed it was coming, thought I should turn it off, but didn't. I rationalized that I wanted to see if they would edit it, but, to be honest, I hoped they wouldn't.
I'm weak that way.
The scene came up. They may have edited it, but it was still enough. Too much.
I went off to say a rosary in the adoration chapel at church before Mass, but the scene kept popping into my head. I even found thoughts popping into my head like, "It wasn't that bad. It's natural. It's art. You're married."
But I know myself, and I know the way my mind works.
St. Francis struggled with such temptations. I don't know if I need to roll in thorn bushes or snow as I've heard he did, but I do need to be aware of my weakness in this area.
Perhaps others can view such scenes without harm, but I can't. I need to practice greater discipline of my eyes. Maybe I just nee to avoid any films or shows like that.
Pax et bonum