Saturday, February 21, 2015

Bad Haiku Friday - Memories

Years ago there was a fellow blogger, Laura, who had a site called Catholic Teacher Musings. Alas, she stopped blogging: problems with having a blog and parents finding it. Not that she ever said anything really bad, but so it goes.

One of the things she did was sponsor Bad Haiku Fridays. A group of us regularly submitted bad haiku. She even held a contest one year for bad haiku Christmas poems - which I won!

I found some of the haiku I submitted for that contest, and for Bad Haiku Fridays in general.

Enjoy - if that's possible!

joyful students race
into class ready to learn -
my alarm clock rings

a new credit card
a mall in driving distance -
bad combination

a trip to the mall
is one of the five pillars
of consumerism

so-called "real housewives"
provide a good argument
for easy divorce

Bethenny chose to
entertain us with her lack
of shame and good taste

the next top model
wannabees reinforce those
old stereotypes

reality shows
help to distort perceptions
of what's really real

writing about slugs
each day may seem weird to some
but it's what I do

watching the snow storms
miss us again and again -
was the groundhog wrong?

after dire forecasts
"bad storm" leaves just two inches -
snow day dreams are dashed

leftover chili
with cheese on tortilla chips -
wife need never know

Birthday shotgun

Clem’s birthday shotgun
provided the Christmas feast –
Rudolph’s final flight


Aunt Ann’s old fruitcake
arrived for Christmas again
(no, not Uncle Ed)

Scurry Christmas

over the river
and through the woods we scurry –
in-laws still find us

What’s the poop?

Next year, Santa, please
along with your reindeer bring
a pooper scooper

Stale Cookies

finding stale cookies
Santa raids the cheapskate’s fridge –
ah, a pecan pie


folks in their beds with
visions of credit card bills
dancing in their heads

Gingerbread cookies

half-eaten cookie
clutched in Santa’s stiff fingers –
wicked witch cackles

Ned makes the naughty list

prone beneath the tree
an unconscious Santa Claus –
Ned’s booby trap worked

Beep … beep

Christmas morning Mass –
during Father’s homily
beeps from new game boys

Practical joke

practical joke with
Ex Lax explains why reindeer’s
nickname was “Dumper”

Teacher in-service -
doodling and nodding off
during the lecture

probing owl pellets
students totally grossed out
but fascinated

study hall lessons -
guitar for middle schoolers-
striking the right chord

a Lila Rose grad
uncovers ACORN aiding
prostitution scam

bad low-budget film
pimp and prostitute reveal
ACORN’s true values

ACORN has been caught –
still more friends of Obama
who said, “Nuts to you.”

my doctor prescribes
fewer sweets, more exercise -
why I avoid him

Buffalo Bills fans
grateful last night's game not shown -
"NEXT year" cries begin

You know team is bad
when winless Detroit beats them -
coach checks resume

retirement plan if
Social Security fails -
lottery tickets.

summer break over
teacher meetings start next week -
when's the first snow day?

fat claustrophobic
drives a sub-compact -
masochistic too

loud atv
up and down, up and down street -
9-1-1, hello ...

Walmart's June specials -
wedding gowns, rice
and shotgun shells

watching the dog show
out of chips, pretzels, popcorn -
dog shares her biscuits

teachers consider
district's new stricter rules -
lots of wiggling

set to bite my bread
I stop when one raisin moves -
the ants are back

Archie Bunker said,
"You don't buy beer. You rent it."
White House beer summit

another rain storm -
this year's garden features
mud and drowned plants

vocal camp advice
leads to a difficult choice:
coffee, or singing?

broken tooth fits
my body's trend of late -
middle-aged blues

truck's bumper sticker
"Watch for Motorcycles"
above large dent

graduation day -
staff barely contains glee as
SHE crosses the stage

Pax et bonum

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