As part of formation, we discussed the topic of peace.
I had a hard time.
I am not a peaceful person. There is a lot of anger in me. I have a bad temper. I fester and seethe at times.
As I read the material, as I thought of the Franciscan focus on peace, as i considered the life of St,. Francis, I couldn't help think of my own lack of peace.
I told my formation director that I was so troubled as I read and reflected that I wondered if I could in good conscience make my final profession before I had dealt with this issue.
He was supportive and comforting, but still, the misgivings linger.
Of course, I may never "resolve" this. It may be a life-long issue with which I'll have to struggle. And as a Secular Franciscan, I would be on a spiritual path that will help me if I am open to God's grace.
Pax et bonum
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I have a number of reflections on "irritation", my polite way of saying anger. No, it doesn't really go away with time, but I found that when I focus on the silliness of some of the THINGS I get angry about, I realize that the only thing which causes my anger is me. I value too much MY plans, and get irritated with disruptions of them.
As I've matured, gained wisdom, (got old), I've found that MY plans usually aren't nearly as good as HIS plans. I've calmed myself down somewhat by asking myself: This isn't according to my plans, okay, but is it perhaps part of His plan??
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