Inflicting Dad Jokes

For my Secular Franciscan Fraternity I produce a weekly newsletter, Living Stones Notes. I include announcements, upcoming events, and formation/educational articles.

I always end the newsletter with "A Little Humor." 

Most of that humor is in the form of Dad Jokes.

After all, we are the "Brothers and Sisters of Penance".

Here are a few of the recent Dad Jokes.

My dad used to work 12 hours a day to put food on the table.
He was a great man, but he sure was a slow cook.

Studies show that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.
It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

Last night someone broke into our house and stole a dozen eggs.
They also left a saucepan filled with warm water.
Police believe it was poachers.

Who built the Round Table for King Arthur at Camelot? Sir Cumference.

There was a priest who was determined to hear God laugh. He asked his Bishop for advice. The bishop told him that, being the Father, God must love dad jokes, and that God is closest to us on Christmas. He also gave him a list of the best puns in the history of mankind. So, every year for a decade on Christmas, the priest would tell one pun during adoration and wait for laughter. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Did you hear about the guy who tripped over a frozen newspaper in his driveway? Apparently he fell on hard Times.

I’m terrified of elevators so I’ve been taking steps to avoid them.

Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs. It’s because they are Inca hoots.

A hardcover copy of “A Christmas Carol” just fell on my toe. It hurt like the Dickens.

Did you hear about the shoelace that got coal for Christmas? It was on the “Knotty List".

A pirate went to a doctor and said, “I have moles on me back.”
The doctor looked at the moles and said, “It’s okay, they’re benign.
The pirate replied. “Count again, I think there be ten.”

Pax et bonum

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Pax et bonum

Stand Together for Life (March 22, 2025)

Every Saturday, a group of us gathers outside the Planned Parenthood headquarters in Rochester, N.Y., to pray and offer help to women. We say a Rosary, a Divine Mercy Chaplet, and assorted other prayers. This group actually got started praying outside another Planned Parenthood, but then that one closed. Hooray.

Every fourth Saturday we are joined by Protestant pro-lifers for Stand Together for Life. That larger, peaceful vigil begins with a Rosary, and is followed by Scriptures, hymns, updates on ministries and pro-life activities, and a featured speaker.

The music is often led by a fellow ex-seminarian.

The featured speaker today was Deacon Mike Kristan. In addition to his parish duties, Deacon Mike heads two ministries, one combating human trafficking, the other helping men fight sexual and porn addiction. He is also involved with a new initiative with his wife, Dr. Angela Kristan, a new, pro-life, pro-woman health center. Among the services the center will offer is assistance for those struggling with fertility, promoting ethical, moral treatments (and not IVF).

One of the myths about pro-lifers is that they don’t care about the women and children after birth. But the people involved with the Stand Togethers show this to be false.

Just diagonally across the street from Planned Parenthood is a Pregnancy Center where women and families can get infant clothes, car seats, diapers, clothing for older children and adults, food, pregnancy tests, referrals, sympathetic ears, and more. The center also sponsors an ultrasound van that comes on a regular basis to the offer an alternative to the women.

Some of the Stand Together leaders hold baby showers for the women they help, offer rides, provide support and mentoring, and more - and sometimes even take women into their own homes.

For some of the women, there are also alternative health care and housing assistance offered. One of the housing options is a home where women can live for up to two years while they do what they need to do to support themselves and their children - finding housing, finishing school, securing a job, etc. I helped to found that home.

The goals of our efforts at the Stand Togethers are to save lives, to protect and help women, to change hearts and minds, and, hopefully, to see abortion made illegal.

We will continue to pray until that occurs. Love will end abortion.

Pax et bonum

Two reads

In the last two days I finished two works on my to read list.

Snapdragon in the Wall by Joyce Sugg met the biography of St. John Henry Newman biography goal, and 
The Poet and the Lunatics was the book by G. K. Chesterton I wanted to read.

Both were enjoyable reads. 

The Sugg book was more of a young adult biography, but that's okay, It was a good introduction to Newman's life. I'm following it us with Newman's own Apologia Pro Vita Sua, another book on my to read list for this year.

As for Chesterton's collection, it was a pleasure to read more of his short stories. I tend to enjoy his short fiction more than his novels.

Pax et bonum

My Substack

On Substack, I am Franciscan Poet. My page is at https://substack.com/refer/franciscanpoet. And I am known as leestrongofs.

Pax et bonum

Smile

This morning just before Mass an elderly gentleman's phone suddenly began booming the song "Smile". It filled the church as he tried to figure out how to turn it off. He did finally manage to lower the volume, but I could still hear it. Luckily, he got it turned off before Mass began.

I've always liked that song. and a number of people have recorded it, including the best known version by Nat King Cole.

What people may not realize is that  Charlie Chaplin composed the tune.  

He actually composed or helped to compose the music for many of his movies. "Smile" was from Modern Times (1936). 

He did not write the lyrics, however. Those were added by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons in 1954.

Smile

Music by Charles Chaplin, Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just
Smile

©Copyright 1954 by Bourne Co. Copyright Renewed All Rights Reserved International Copyright Secured 

Pax et bonum

Busy Over on Substack

As I mentioned previously, I have been trying Substack. I've already posted a number of entries ther. Some of them are new. But some of them are revised posts that I've made here and on the Chesterton blog.

At least over on Substack I might get some attention. And who know, maybe some money eventually.

Pax et bonum