Monday, August 31, 2020

Dealing with JFK Jr.


MARILYN MONROE ELVIS PRESLEY PLAYING POKER 8X10 SMALL POSTER casino gamble  print | eBay

The son of John Kennedy allegedly died in a plane crash at sea, but reliable sources like QAnon and such say he's alive and playing cards with Elvis, thank you very much.

Pax et bonum

Sunday, August 30, 2020

Yvonne De Carlo


Moses (Charlton Heston) and Zipporah(Yvonne De Carlo) | Yvonne de carlo,  Epic film, Old movies

Yvonne De Carlo 
once made Moses's heart glow, 
but she drove me silly 
when she played Lily.

Pin en Glamorama

Pax et bonum

Friday, August 28, 2020

Twenty Poems to Pray


Twenty Poems to Pray  -     By: Gary M. Bouchard

I generally have several books that I'm currently reading, switching back and forth. One of the books is almost always spiritual in nature, and usually one of them is a book of poetry.

Twenty Poems to Pray by Gary M. Bouchard allowed me to cover both genres in one book.

I'd seen it reviewed, and intrigued, I ordered it immediately. Great decision.

Bouchard begins his introduction with, "Poetry and prayer are close cousins, if not siblings." He successfully demonstrates the truth of that observation.

As the title states, he chose 20 poems. Along with the texts of the poems, he provides some background for each one, a dash of literary analysis, and some spiritual reflections. The book is for a general audience, so it does not overwhelm with in-depth explications - each poem has its own chapter, and the chapters are generally about five pages. Quite manageable.

The represented poets include some familiar poets - though not necessarily familiar poems by them. Robert Frost, for example, makes it with a poem I'd never read before, "A Prayer in Spring." Ditto with John Donne's "Sonnet 4, O My Black Soul," and George Herbert's "Love III." Emily Dickinson's "Hope" and Father Gerard Manley Hopkins' "Pied Beauty," were not surprises, but were welcome.

Other poets represented include Denise Levertov, Shakespeare, Howard Nemerov, Christina Rossetti, and Saint Robert Southwell. There were also a few poets I'd never encountered before, such as Dana Gioia, Father Kilian McDonnell, and Claire Nicholas White. One new poet in particular stood out for me: William Stafford, with his wonderful "Stray Moments." I enjoyed the poem so much I plan to borrow one of his books from the library (when it opens from its Covid shutdown).

Even if you are not a person who normally reads poetry, this is a great book. The spiritual reflections are wonderful and inspiring.

This is a book I'll read again.   

Pax et bonum

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Bette Midler


 
Bette Midler
used to date a fiddler.
But he broke it off when she broke his toes
because he failed one time to bring her a rose

Pax et bonum

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

The Parable of the Sower


That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat there; and the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they had not much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched; and since they had no root they withered away. Other seeds fell upon thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears,[a] let him hear.”

The Parable of the Sower is a well-known one. It actually shows up in all three of the Synoptic Gospels - this version is from Matthew 13: 1-23.

When the Apostles asked for an explanation, Jesus provided one.

18 “Hear then the parable of the sower. 19 When any one hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in his heart; this is what was sown along the path. 20 As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.[c22 As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the delight in riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. 23 As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the word and understands it; he indeed bears fruit, and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” 

The meaning remains true to this day.

The evil one is still looking to snatch away the word. Just look at our culture, and all it does to draw us from Church and from living out our faith. Entertainment and social media are two devices he uses. A priest I encountered suggested we all look at our own social media habits, and ask ourselves if we are spending more time on social media than on prayer and in reading the Scriptures and spiritual works. There are so many other ways he snatches us away, often without us even being aware. 

The shallow soil metaphor still resonates. How many are born into families that don't really practice the faith? In recent years, only about 25 percent of people who identify as Catholics regularly attend Mass, for example. That is shallow soil. How many attend public schools where faith is at best ignored, and at worst is ridiculed and undermined - trends that continue through college. Shallow soil indeed. How many exist in social circles that downplay faith or morality? Shallow soil that does not nourish spiritual growth or spiritual life.

We are surrounded by thorns today - all the temptations of contemporary society that conflict with and draw us away from the faith. Some are based on the Seven Deadly Sins. Greed. Materialism. Gluttony.  Pre-marital and extra-marital sex. Pornography. Homosexuality - practicing of it, and accepting it. Birth control. Sloth. Violence. And more.

These sins are often called personal or lifestyle choices. We justify them by saying my conscience says it's okay - forgetting that that conscience has to be well-formed first.

C.S. Lewis pointed to these thorns in his book, The Screwtape Letters. As he noted, the Devil often uses small things, seemingly innocent things at first to draw us in and break down our resistance.
“Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one--the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts ..." 

Sadly, we often fail to heed the warnings Jesus gave us in this parable, or when he warned us many are called but few a chosen. We may be baptized, confirmed, ordained, born again, yet many of us will not enter Heaven because we failed to live our faith, and instead followed the ways of the world.   
So what do we do so the seed grows?

We need to surround ourselves with nourishing spiritual soil - Scripture, good books, regular church attendance, prayer time, spiritually healthy activities, good companions. We need to do our best to avoid the thorns of this world - improper activities, bad companions, sources of temptation.

That means we need to look at how we spend our time, and with whom we spend that time. That might mean ending some activities and separating ourselves from some companions.

As for those who are snared early - they still have choices. They can still turn to the right path. God never abandons us: He is there waiting, sending hints and people our way. 

And if we know people who have been snatched away, or whose faith has not been nourished, or who have fallen prey to thorns, we who are sincerely trying to follow the Lord need to reach out to them, to support them, to encourage them.

Thus can we, by the power of God, bear fruit - one hundredfold, sixtyfold, or thirtyfold.

Pax et bonum

Cardinal Dolan's Prayer at the RNC


Cardinal Dolan of New York gives opening prayer at RNC
Let us pray. And pray we must, as grateful citizens of a country we boldly claim to be one nation under God.
Pray we must, praising the Lord for a country where freedom of religion is so cherished.
Where both Republicans and Democrats begin their conventions, heads bowed in prayer.
Pray we must, conscious of those suffering from Covid, and those wearied front-liners who care for them and all of us. Pray we must that all lives may be protected and respected, in our troubled cities and the police who guard them. 
In tense world situations where our men and women in uniform keep the peace. 
For the innocent life of the baby in the womb.
For our elders in nursing care and hospice. 
For our immigrants and refugees. 
For those lives threatened by religious persecution throughout the world, or by plague, hunger, drugs, human trafficking or war.
Pray we must in Thanksgiving, in Thanksgiving, dear God for democracy.
As we ask your hand, Almighty Father, upon this convention and the nominees of both parties, and his wisdom upon an electorate so eager to perform its duty of faithful citizenship.
Pray we do, for we dare claim.
In God we Trust.

Pax et bonum

Sunday, August 23, 2020

"Hope" is the thing with feathers (Dickinson)


The 10 Best Emily Dickinson Poems

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
By Emily Dickinson

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.

Pax et bonum

Saturday, August 22, 2020

The Queenship of Mary (The Kiss)


Mother Mary kissing baby Jesus ♡ | Jesus and mary pictures, Pictures of  christ, Pictures of mary

On that Christmas morn
the first gift the Child received
was His mother's kiss.

Pax et bonum

Friday, August 21, 2020

In the School of the Holy Spirit (Philippe)


In the School of the Holy Spirit by Jacques Philippe

I just finished reading In the School of the Holy Spirit by Jacques Philippe. The book was a gift from my fellow teachers when I retired in June.

It was a good choice.

The book covers listening to and responding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I had encountered many of the ideas in the book over the years, but it was good to see them all together in one work, and to be reminded of them. The fact that it was concise and well-written helped.

One thing that was new to me was "A Prayer by Cardinal Mercier" included in Appendix I.

I am going to reveal to you the secret of sanctity and happiness. Every day for five minutes control your imagination and close your eyes to all the noises of the world in order to enter into yourself. Then, in the sanctuary of your baptized soul (which is the temple of the Holy Spirit) speak to that Divine Spirit, saying to Him:

O Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul, I adore You. 
Enlighten me, guide me, 
strengthen me, console me. 
Tell me what I should do; 
and order me to do it. 
I promise to submit myself 
to all that You desire of me 
and to accept all 
that You permit to happen to me. 
Let me only know Your Will.
If you do this, your life will flow along happily, serenely, and full of consolation, even in the midst of trials. Grace will be proportioned to the trial, giving you the strength to carry it and you will arrive at the Gate of Paradise, laden with merit. This submission to the Holy Spirit is the secret of sanctity. 

I found the book got me thinking and looking at my own spiritual life - which is exactly what this sort of book should do. 

Thanks former fellow teachers. This is a book I will pull from the shelf again to reread and to re-inspire me.

Pax et bonum

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Stray Moments (Stafford)


Stray Moments 
By William Stafford

We used to ask -- remember? We said,
"...our daily bread." And it came. 
Now we want more, and security too:
 "You can't be too sure." And,
 "Why should we trust? - Who says?" 
And Old-Who doesn't speak any more. 

They used to have Thunder talk, or 
The Rivers, or Leaves, or Birds. It's all
 "Cheep, Cheep" now. It's a long time 
since a cloud said anything helpful. 
But last night a prophet was talking, 
disguised as a clerk at the check-out stand: 

"Gee, it's been a good day!" 
And we talked for awhile and I felt 
that I wasn't such a bad guy. 
We stood there looking out at the evening. 
And maybe what we said, in its way, was 
Thanks for our daily bread.

Pax et bonum

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Some Santa Images From Over The Years



Due to the pandemic, I'm not sure if there will be a Santa season. So here's a few images from the past.



 







Pax et bonum

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Dreams (Hughes)


Remembering Langston Hughes: His Art, Life, and Legacy Fifty Years Later —  Princeton University Humanities Council


Dreams

BY LANGSTON HUGHES
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
 
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Pax et bonum

Monday, August 17, 2020

Swedenborg 27


Sharon added enough coins to the washer and pushed the buttons. The familiar rhythm of the washer began.

She smiled and remembered her mother. Six kids meant constant washing. As the oldest girl, Sharon often got drafted into helping. But the memories were good. The machine churning rhythmically. The smell of the detergent – the same brand she herself still used. Her mother smiling at her, and sometimes humming or even breaking into song.

She sat down and unconsciously began to hum as she took of the book she’d brought to the laundromat. The washer was broken at her apartment building once again, so the trip was necessary.

It was a novel by a British writer whose name she's seen in the paper recently. He was teaching at the university for a year, and she remembered she’d liked his books, so she dug out one she hadn’t read in a long time.

Jack Staples.

As she read and hummed, she gradually became aware of the sensation she was being watched. She looked up.

A man was staring at her from across the laundromat.

Even when he realized she had seen him, he did not look away.

She looked back at her book, feeling flushed.

She was used to being looked at by men. She was not vain, but she knew she was attractive. She even enjoyed the looks sometimes; they were reassuring.

But the look this man was giving her was not one of natural appreciation. His eyes were burning with … Lust? Anger? Hatred?

She didn’t want to look up, just in case he was still staring and take it as an invitation.

“Excuse me,” a low, rough-edged voice said above her.

Startled, she looked up to see him standing there. His eyes no longer burned. The look in them was pleading, with a hint of pain. She still felt unease, but now with a touch of pity.

“This isn’t a pickup line or anything,” he half mumbled. He looked away from her face and went on, “but I’ve been trying to get some stains out of my clothes. Do you know what would work?”

He held up a shirt and a sheet. The stains were blood.

As a nurse, she had to deal with blood stains on her own clothes many times.

“I try to get it out right away,” she said, her voice taking on a calm, clinical tone. “But if it dries, sometimes hydrogen peroxide works. You have to make sure the clothes are color fast first, because it can bleach them. The sheet should be okay. I don’t know about the shirt.”

“Hydrogen peroxide,” he repeated.

“Yes. It’s easy to find. I’ve also heard of people using water, a quart or so, with a small amount of hand soap and ammonia. But try peroxide. And don’t forget to test it first, like on a corner.”

She smiled, trying to look at reassuring – and at ease.

The man looked at his clothes.

“I cut myself,” he suddenly explained. “I was carving some meat. It got on my clothes. I put a bandage on but it leaked when I went to bed.”

He hesitated, and then added, “Hydrogen peroxide. Thanks.”

He went back to his bench. He glanced at her quickly, repeatedly, tying not to stare.

She was pretty. Dark hair. A full face. Something about it suggested Native American.

When he had gone over he had half hoped that maybe …,

But he knew where things would end up. He’d say or do something stupid.

He looked at the stains on the sheet. Stupid excuse. Carving meat. But then it struck him as funny, and he chuckled. A low, guttural chuckle. He snorted.

God, I’d even scare myself.

He glanced at the woman. She was reading again. Her eyes flicked up, looking at him, then back at her book. He smiled, and then scowled.

He threw the clothes into a washer, stains and all. He put in the money, sat down, looked at her. Looked away. He got up and hurried across the street to a drug store. He quickly walked up and down some aisles. Then he spotted a young woman who was studying hair coloring.

“Excuse me,” he said.

She looked at him suspiciously, holding her shopping basket in front of her.

“I’m trying to find hydrogen peroxide,” he said quickly. “Do you know where it is?”

“No," she said tensely. “You should ask one of the clerks.”

He started back to the pharmacy desk, changed his mind, walked over the checkout. There was a line. He walked up the hair coloring aisle. The woman had moved to another aisle. She looked at him, and then moved toward the pharmacy,

He turned and headed back toward the front counter. Still a line. The clerk looked up at him nervously. A man in line turned and looked at him, then back at the clerk.

He hurried out of the store and back to the Laundromat.

The pretty dark-haired woman was gone.

He stepped out of the store and looked both ways. No sign of her.

He went back in and sat on a bench.

His wash was still swirling. He watched it go round and round. Round and round.

His felt his jaw clench. He rubbed his hands anxiously.

Hurry up, he found himself thinking at the washer.


He closed his eyes. He could see blood.


Pax et bonum

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Doom and Gloom and the Post Office


There's lots of doom and gloom about the Post Office and the election. And a lot of distortions and misinformation and accusations.

This article has a great analysis that provides a more balanced look.

As it explains - don't panic

Pax et bonum

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Jericho Walk


This morning we had a different sort of pro-life event here in Rochester.


A group of us gathered at Planned Parenthood's Rochester headquarters, then, following the model of the Israelites at Jericho, we marched around the block surrounding the headquarters seven times. Instead of blowing horns, we recited the Rosary - appropriate as this is the Feast of the Assumption..


The total distance was about 2.5 miles. We each walked at our own pace - included one woman needing foot surgery who walked with a cane. Such dedication! Other folks who could not walk the full distance still recited the Rosary as we walked. And there were other people who are normally there praying.

The hope is to do this on a monthly basis.

The pro-choice walls will come down.

Pax et bonum

Friday, August 14, 2020

The Poor Knight (Pushkin)


I came across the following poem by Pushkin while reading The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. The poem struck me.

The Poor Knight
By Aleksander Pushkin

Lived a knight once, poor and simple,
Pale of face with glance austere,
Spare of speech, but with a spirit
Proud, intolerant of fear.

He had had a wondrous vision:
Ne'er could feeble human art
Gauge its deep, mysterious meaning,
It was graven on his heart.

And since then his soul had quivered
With an all-consuming fire,
Never more he looked on women,
Speech with them did not desire.

But he dropped his scarf thenceforward,
Wore a chaplet in its place,
And no more in sight of any
Raised the visor from his face.

Filled with purest love and fervor,
Faith which his sweet dreams did yield
In his blood he traced the letters
A.M.D. upon his shield.

When the Paladins proclaiming
Ladies' names as true love's sign
Hurled themselves into the battle
On the plains of Palestine,

Lumen coeli, Sancta Rosa!
Shouted he with flaming glance,
And the fury of his menace
Checked the Mussulman's advance.

Then returning to his castle
In far distant countryside,
Silent, sad, bereft of reason,
In his solitude he died.


Pax et bonum

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Heat waves (Basho)


Heat waves shimmering
one or two inches
above the dead grass.

- Basho

(Seems like a good poem for these hot August days.)

Pax et bonum

Recent poems


Snow on snow on snow –
Spring on the new colony

still two years away

Joy at finding life
ends when he realizes
that life is hungry.



Batter my soul -
rain on the chapel roof -
Three-Person'd God




social distancing
is so much easier
with you at my side


Love is the full moon
Behind clouds
Teasing
With brief glimpses
And filtered light.



You are the wind
That blows
The clouds
Away



In that moment, his eyes suddenly opened and he finally understood, then died.

Alien mother
sipping Starbucks coffee
spits acid at us




Pax et bonum

Monday, August 10, 2020

Tell all the truth but tell it slant (Dickinson)


Tell all the truth but tell it slant
By Emily Dickinson

Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —

Pax et bonum

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Swedenborg 26


Frank and Joe walked to Frank’s car, talking and laughing.

Art watched them from his car.

Stas is not doing his job, he thought.

He watched as Frank and Joe drove off. He followed.

He knew where Joe lived. He was on the list. But he had to be sure that’s where they were going. What if they were meeting up with someone else?

They pulled up in front of Joe’s apartment and went in. Al parked down the street at a pay phone and called Stas.

“Yeah?”

“I’m at Paolotto’s,” Art began.

Stas did not have to be told who was speaking. He was suddenly alert.

“McMann is with him,” Art continued. “You were supposed to prevent this sort of thing.”

“I tried. Hey, I can’t be with him all day.”

“You need to put in more effort. I suspect Frank will be at that party tonight.”

“He didn’t seem interested.”

“He is here now. That is not a good sign. You will be there tonight to make sure it does not go well.”

“The geek fest?” Stas whined. “I’ve got a date.

“Break it. Or bring her. Be there.”

“But …”

“Don’t disappoint me.”

He clicked the phone off.

Stas is not reliable, he thought. I need to find someone else.


Joe’s apartment was pretty much what Frank expected: Filled with books and papers, arranged – if that is the right word – in piles. A lap top was propped on top of one of the piles. An open door revealed a similar condition in the bedroom.

Joe smiled guiltily. “I guess I have to do some more cleaning?”

More? Frank shrugged. “I’ll help. But where …”

“There’s a second bedroom,” Joe said brightly. “My roommate is gone. Maybe….”

There was no maybe about it. Frank began gathering piles and shifting them into the roommate’s room. Books. Papers. Notebooks.

Joe also began to pick up, but often got distracted, reading some book or paper he had just picked up.

Frank began to pile the cups and plates in the similarly cluttered kitchen.

“My roommate kind of keeps things tidier,” Joe said, looking up from a book. “This is one of Staples’,” he said, indicating the book.

“You said Staples was coming?”

“I invited him.”

Frank carried another pile of papers into the second bedroom, and then went into Joe’s to tidy it up,

He noticed one spot that was neat. The top of the dresser had a small statue of Mary holding an infant Jesus. There was a rosary in front of it, and two candles.

Frank smiled. His mother had had a similar statue.

“You Catholic?” Joe said, walking the room.

“Yeah, though I’m not active.”

“A FARC.”

“FARC?”

Fallen Away Roman Catholic, The nation’s second largest denomination,” Joe said, grinning.

Frank pointed to the rosary. “You say the rosary?”

“Every day.”

“My mother used to.”

“Not everyone likes it. I do.”

“I tried it a few times. My mind wandered.”

“Mine, too.” He chuckled. “But it tends to wander no matter what I’m doing.”

“I’d rather just go out in nature,” Frank said. “There’s this place near where I live called High Tor. High hills. I still go up there sometimes and just watch. I feel spiritual then.”

“Ah. I love the ocean myself,” Joe said.” My family’s from Massachusetts. As a kid, we used to go up to Cape Cod all the time. I’d go down to the beach and just watch the waves, listen to the surf and the birds.”

“Yeah, I guess if I was from there when I wanted to pray, that’s how I’d do it.”

Joe nodded, thinking. “Ever pray when you are scared?”

Frank thought of the night before. At Liza’s. In the woods.

“Yeah, Sometimes.”

“Or when you’re thankful for something?”

“Never thought of that.”

“Well, I said a prayer just a few minutes ago, thanking God that you were here to help me.” Joe smiled broadly.

“If I’m the answer to a prayer, you’re in trouble.”

‘You never know what God will send your way.”

Frank was beginning to get uncomfortable with all this religious talk. He started to wonder why he had come here in the first place. Joe was not his kind of person. But then he thought: Is Liza?

“I get scared a lot here,” Joe added, looking serious. Seeing Frank’s puzzled look, he added. “Not in this apartment. In Carthage. There’s something about this place. I can’t wait until I finish my degree.”

“The native Americans used to have tales about this valley. When I was a kid my uncle used to scare me with them.”

“Children need to be scared sometimes. It’s good for them. It helps them grow and get stronger. What stories are there?”

“You never heard them? Yeah, I guess not being from around here. Anyway, back when the Great Spirit created the earth, he supposedly rested his hand on this region. The indentations from his fingers became the Finger Lakes.”

“Ah, hence the name.”

“Well, there’s supposedly a second part they usually don’t tell. The Great Spirit fought a battle with an evil spirit and had a small wound on his hand. A scab with infection. That’s what pressed down here. So that scab formed this valley, and the poison of the evil spirit was pressed into the earth.”

“I never heard any of that.”

“My uncle used to warn me all the time that if I came up here that the evil would grab me. Then again, maybe he made up that part of the story just to scare me. Boo!”

Frank chuckled. “We all have crazy uncles.”

Frank looked around.

“We’ll never get this place ready if we sit around here talking.”

“Yes. My mother says I need a wife to take care of me. Maybe to pin notes on me to remind of what I’m supposed to do or where I’m supposed to be.”

He picked up a plate and studied the remains of cake clinging to it. “When did I eat some cheesecake? Oh, two weeks ago.”

When Frank had filled a couple of plastic bags with garbage he dragged them to the side door and out into the walkway that lead from behind the house out to the street. He tossed them into a couple of garbage cans.

He looked up.

Across the street there was a car with someone sitting in it. He had the sense the person in the car was looking at him. He felt uneasy – almost a bit like the way he’d felt during the events Lilly and in the woods.

He went back in and walked to a front window of the apartment. He looked; the car was gone.

Just my imagination, he thought.

But the uneasy feeling did not go away.

And for some reason he thought of chess.

Pax et bonum

The Little Park Planted (Amichai)


The Little Park Planted
By Yehuda Amichai

The little park planted in memory of a boy
who fell in the war begins
to resemble him
as he was twenty eight years ago.
Year by year they look more alike.
His old parents come almost daily
to sit on a bench
and look at him.

And every night the memory in the garden
hums like a little motor.
During the day you can't hear it.


Pax et bonum

The Little Park Planted (Amichai)


The Little Park Planted
By Yehuda Amichai

The little park planted in memory of a boy
who fell in the war begins
to resemble him
as he was twenty eight years ago.
Year by year they look more alike.
His old parents come almost daily
to sit on a bench
and look at him.

And every night the memory in the garden
hums like a little motor.
During the day you can't hear it.


Pax et bonum

Friday, August 7, 2020

A Prayer in Spring (Frost)


A Prayer in Spring
By Robert Frost

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers to-day;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.
Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.
And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.
For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill.

Pax et bonum

Thursday, August 6, 2020

You are the wind


Love is the full moon
Behind clouds
Teasing
With brief glimpses
And filtered light.
You are the wind
That blows
The clouds
Away

Pax et bonum

Swedenborg 24


Several cups of coffee, and the due date, were not enough. He had barely made progress on the paper by the time the sun had come up. He was too wired to sleep, yet too tired to think.


He took a shower to try to wake up. As he dried off, he looked outside. The rain had stopped, and there were even breaks of sunshine.


Maybe a walk to get his car would help.


He dressed quickly, and then headed out. It was a 20 minute walk to the campus.


The morning air was fresh after the overnight rain. He took a deep breath and forced himself to think of the paper. Suddenly, words popped into his head, as if someone was whispering. He realized the right direction for the paper. If he’d had his laptop, he would have sat down somewhere before the idea left him.


He picked up his pace. He wanted to get the car and get back to the house before he forgot. He kept thinking about it, more words came. Yes.


Very few people were on the street – not surprising at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning. A few students were up, heading home, or in search of breakfast or coffee. He spotted his car.


“Hey, up early,” a cheerful voice said from behind him.


He turned. Joe Paolotto was ambling along with a walking stick.


“Um, I left my car here last night,” he said.


“It’s a great morning for a walk anyway,” Joe said. “I try to get out every morning. My attempt at exercise.”


He patted his stomach. “Hard to believe, but I’ve already lost five pounds this summer.”


“Uh, great. Good luck with that. What’s with the stick? Did you hurt the leg?”


“No. I think it’s a nice fashion accessory. Besides, It has its uses. Maybe I’ll show you some day. But don’t forget the party tonight.” Seeing Frank’s puzzlement, added, “At my place. I invited Professor Staples. He probably won’t come, but you never know.”


“Oh, right.” He’s too chipper for a Saturday morning, Frank thought. “That paper.”


“I’m almost done. Poof. It came last night. Just have to proof. I’m a terrible speller. And sometimes I quote from memory inaccurately. How’s yours coming?”


“I think I finally have a focus. I was going to go back to my place to work on it,” Frank said, turning his body to hint that he needed to get going.


Joe did not take the hint. “I’d be happy to talk about it, maybe help. Would you like some coffee?”


“I’ve had a couple of cups already, thanks. I need to get back to my computer.”


Looking disappointed, Joe said, “Right. Well, I hope to see tonight. A break might help, and we can talk then.”


Joe suddenly looked serious. “I get this strange feeling we should talk.”


“Um, I’ll see. Thanks.”


Frank turned and hurried to his car. He got in and looked back. No sign of Joe.


Yeah, right. I’m going to that party, he thought.


He drove back to the house and hurried to the apartment to get to work on the paper before he lost his inspiration. It meant revising it to take into account the new direction he’d come up with, but suddenly it seemed to flow. He wrote quickly, smoothly, much more smoothly than he normally did, leaving a few spots for facts to check.


By noon, he had much of the paper done – except for the blank spots. He checked on the internet for some of the information he needed. The rest needed a visit to the library.


He showered and drove back to the campus. He was surprisingly awake considering he’d been up all night, and what had happened the night before. He’d almost forgotten about that in the heat of composing.


Demons? She must have put something in their drinks. That had to be it.


He hurried into the library and looked in the online catalog.


Yes, there was information about John Lowry. He began to scribble down call numbers, when he suddenly pause.


John Lowry? He could not remember ever hearing of him before. How had that name suddenly come to him?;


Maybe something I read once. Or maybe something that Staples said that had had settled into his subconscious.


He shrugged, and continued to make notes, then rushed off into the stacks.


He hated library stacks. Too closed in. Too much dead air despite air conditioners and fans.


The section he wanted was in an old wing of the library several floors up. The air in it had the musty smell of old books and old leather. He searched for the books, and quickly found one of them. He looked inside. The book was so old and so little used it did not even have one of those magnetic strips put in books these days. It still had the old charge record glued to the inside cover. He looked at the last date. 1939.


He searched for the other books on his list, and then found a desk next to a window to search them for what he needed. He worked steadily, occasionally looking out the window at the campus. With the sun shining campus actually looked beautiful.


He could easily get distracted.


He settled back into the books and soon had all the data he needed, and started to flip through the book. He came across a biographical sketch of John Lowry.


He was imprisoned in 1581 for being a Catholic after being turned in by a man named George “Judas” Eliot, a criminal notorious for betraying Catholics. But he was not executed thanks to some influential friends. Instead, he was kept imprisoned for 10 years, and finally released and spent several years as an invalid at a friend’s estate. It was then that he had done most of his writing about medieval history that had been helpful to Frank.


But he had also written about witchcraft.


Curious, Frank went to one of the computers on the floor and looked up other books by Lowry. He found one, located in an even more obscure stack.


He went off in search. Great, a tower stack.


He climbed ever higher on old wooden stairs and through dead air, finally coming to the top floor. The lights were off when he got to the floor.


There were boxes of books scattered about and empty shelves. It looked as if the library was packing up this floor.


The book he wanted was on a back shelf that had not been touched.


The book was not about Lowry per se, but about witchcraft and the witch trials of the 16th century.


The book did not have an index. Great. Frank sat at a table piled high with books ready for boxing, and began flipping through. He almost gave up when he spotted Lowry’s name.


Lowry had been part of a group that met to talk about philosophy and ancient ways, including medieval guilds – the subsidiarity connection Frank had already discovered.


But then several members of the group were ejected and later arrested for witchcraft. A section of a document written by Lowry was quoted.


“Dame Agnes claimed to see spirits. Simon Slaney told her that if she did, it was a great power. If she could learn to control them, then she should use them for her ends. He was seconded by his cousin, Magnus Sounder, who said he himself had learned to use such spirits to win in the courts, though he spoke little of such things and trusted our confidence.


This bespoke witchcraft to us. Having known prison walls for my religious beliefs already, and not easy with talk of such things, I was prepared to leave the group when Albert Thomas said all those who shared Simon Slaney’s and Magnus Sounder’s beliefs were not welcome in the group any more. Dame Agnes, Simon Seeley, Magnus Sounder, Henry Scott, and Clive Staples all parted ways with our group. I was relieved, yet much saddened, for they provoked likely conversation, especially Clive Staples. But such companionship put my neck in jeopardy.


Thence did Daniel Parson tell me he planned to report them for fear of his own life, and advised me to do the same as I was already suspect for my beliefs. There was wisdom in what he said, and so with sadness I signed a statement he had written stating what we had heard.


Magnus Sounder was arrested and after a trial, burned. The others I heard naught of, other than they may have fled to the colonies.”


Frank searched for other references, but found nothing. A wild goose chase. So he turned in his friends to save his neck. I might have done the same under the circumstances, he thought.


He put the book back where he found it. He started to leave when he spotted the title of a book on the table.


Nathaniel Slaney: The Father of Carthage.


He grabbed the book and flipped through until he found Simon Slaney, who, the book said, fled to the colonies to escape religious persecution. He was the great grandfather of Nathaniel Slaney.


Fleeing to escape what he would consider religious persecution," Frank mused.  


And this town is one result.


He wondered if there were any Slaneys still in Cathage. He made a mental note to ask Jack.


He started down when he heard the noise of someone coming up. He felt strangely embarrassed, as if he shouldn’t be there, even though he had every right. 


He continued down util he could see the person . A shock passed through him.


“Art?” he said hesitantly, “Art Selig?”


Art halted and looked at him, his eyes darkening.


“What are you doing up there?” Art growled.


“Research. I didn’t’ know you were here. It’s been a long time.”


He took a couple of steps closer, then stopped when he saw the way Art was glaring at him.


“I work here.," Art snarled  "What were you looking for?”
. . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . .. . . . . .. ..
Jack went into the kitchen. Frank glanced over his paper again, and sowno glaring errors.
Then suddenly he thought of Joe.
He seemed like he really wanted to see me, Frank thought. And he realized he had a suddent feeling they should talk.  


As he spoke, he rubbed his fingers together. Like a fly. It made Frank feel queasy.


“I was looking for information for a paper. It was a dead end.”


“This tower is dangerous. They shut it down a while back. Better get out.”


“Yeah, I’m going,” he said, then tried to make conversation. “So you teach here?”


“Research. INS.”


Frank felt even more uneasy.


“Oh,” he said cautiously, “I met Dr. Soehner.”


“I know. He wants to see you,” he said. Then he added firmly.”You should make a point of it.”


“I’ll think about it, if I have time.”


“Make the time. It’ll be worth your while.”


“Yeah, I’ll think of it.”


He started down again.


Art glared at him. “Think hard,” he said firmly.


Frank was about to say something, thought better, and hurried down.


He got out of the tower and took a breath of fresh air.


Weird. When standing next to Art he was sure he’d smelled smoke. There was nothing in the air here.


Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, he thought absently.


Hope I never run into that fire.


Sharon Sweetwater joined the throng entering Carthage General Hospital as visiting hours began. She checked the room number again, and then took the elevator up to the third floor.


She had two hours before she had to be at the clinic – short-staffed thanks to the departure of the nurse and doctor. Few people had applied yet. Few wanted to volunteer or work in an inner city clinic, especially not in Carthage.


Her own mother had called the night before.


“Can’t you find another job? There’s so much crime there.”


Her mother had called several times before with similar messages.


Sharon’s response was always the same.


“I’m needed. I feel as if I’m doing good.”


This visit was part of “doing good.” One of the clinic’s patients had ended up in the hospital. A troubled woman who had no one. Sharon had promised to visit her.


“You have to start caring about yourself,” her mother had warned her on more than one occasion. “You have to stop putting others first.”


Her mother, who had married multiple times and lost many jobs because she was good at putting herself first. Her mother who now had no one.


She took the elevator up to the floor. The doors slid open, and she was greeted by noise. Not the usual hospital noises. Voices, loud, angry, frightened, sometimes a mixture of both.


Sharon looked at the nurses. They looked beat and burned out. Maybe the clinic isn’t so bad, she thought.


She found the room and went in.


“Sister Sharon,” the woman rasped  with delight. “You came.”


“How are you, Masia?”


Masia, who was only 30, could have passed for nearly twice her age. She had a scar above her left eye and was missing a couple of teeth.


“I been better. I can’t sleep much. This is the noisiest hospital I ever been in.”


“I noticed,” Sharon said. “Maybe it’s busy.”


“You’re telling me,” Masia said. “People talking and yelling.”


“But how are you doing,” Sharon said to try to get back on track.


“They say the infection has gotten better. I had some internal bleeding. I mighta died if you hadn’t sent me here.”


A regular at the clinic, Masia had come in a couple of days before wearing a large, dirty, bloody towel taped to her side. She had been stabbed the day before, and had tried to take care of it herself. It was unclear how deep the wound was, and how bad the infection that had developed was, so Sharon had called an ambulance and the police. Masia refused to say how it had happened, or who had done it. Given her track record, it could have been anyone from one of her boyfriends to one of her drinking buddies.


But Sharon had learned that despite her wild ways, Masia was basically a good soul. She tried to help others in any way she could. She often convinced others to come to the clinic, and sometimes came along to give support and to overcome mistrust. Sharon had developed a soft spot for her, and the rest of the clinic staff tried to find odd jobs for her to help her earn some money – and to keep her busy so she didn’t drink or do more drugs.


“You, die?” Sharon said with a smile. “You’re too tough.


“Jesus don’t want me yet,” Masia said.


“He’s going to hit you in the back of the head!” a voice bellowed.


Sharon flinched, but no blow came.


“Thas my roommate,” Masia said. “She sees things.”


“They don’t like you,” the other woman yelled. “You scare them. Hey, don’t take my couch!”


Sharon looked at the woman. A bony old woman with thin straggly hair, she had wild, feverish eyes.


“Did you call the police?” the woman asked her.


“The staff will take care of that,” Sharon said, not certain what the woman was talking about.


“The vampires have them,” the woman said. “They got suckers all over them. Bob? Get away from me.”


 “Poor woman,” Sharon muttered.


 “You hear a lot of that,” Masia said. “All night. I gotta get outta here. My place is quieter.”


“Maybe in a day or two if the infection is under control,” Sharon said. “They get people out quickly these days.”


“They’re watching you,” the woman said to Sharon, then snapped, “Get off my couch.”


From out in the hall, Sharon heard a man’s voice yelling, ”She says I’m a murderer.”


Sharon shook her head.


The woman suddenly and calmly said,”Papootie.”


Sharon blinked.


“What did you say?”


“Papootie, help me.”


“What’s the matter, Masia said. “You look funny.”


“It’s nothing,” Sharon said uneasily. “I’m okay. You get better. Let us know when you get out. Come to the clinic and I’ll get you some tea.”


“I’d rather have beer,” Masia chortled.


Sharon left the room and hurried to the elevator. She felt cold.


 It’s a coincidence, she said to herself. There’s no way that woman could know.


He’s dead.


 …..


The afternoon went well. Despite the weird experience of the night before, the lack of sleep, and running into Art, Frank was able to finish his paper. Another read through, and he would be able to hand it in. Then he could get on to reading the upcoming week’s assignments.


Staples did believe in work.


Jack came back midafternoon.


“I gotta get more reliable board operators,” he grumbled. “These morning shifts are murder.”


He smiled at Frank.


“You wouldn’t be interested in an exciting career in radio, would you?;”


“Well, I do have a face for radio.”


“That’s my line!”


“By the way, I saw an old friend. Art Selig. He works with Soehner.


 Jack looked surprised.


 “He’s spooky. How do you know him?”


 “He’s from Kashong Falls. We went to high school together. We used to be friends, then something happened. I think he resented me because I was good at chess. How’s that for a reason to stop being friends?”


  “Chess? You really were a nerd.”


“I’m a high school teacher."


“Okay, you are still a nerd. But there is something not right about Selig. He’s Soehner’s right hand thug."


“He was pushing me to go to the INS. Said Soehner wants to see me.”


“For once I agree with him.”


“You have ulterior motives. You just want a spy.”


“I’m just trying to seduce you and turn you into a radio whore. If I win a award for exposing INS I’ll share it with you. Or at least I’ll mention your name as I accept the award.”


“Thanks.”


“As for seducing, how did Liza fail to snag you?


“I don’t like to be snagged. Besides, as I said, there was too much weirdness at her place. Don’t laugh, but it felt evil.”


I won’t laugh. But evil? That’s your Catholic roots showing. I say dangerous. She fools around with too much dangerous stuff.


“You don’t believe in all that?”


“I don’t believe in it as magic and all that, but there is something there. You can’t deny that after what happened.”


“No,” he said softly. Then he added brightly., “Maybe you should get her to go to the INS. I bet she would short circuit all their machines.”


“I think she did go there once. She said it was all bogus, but I think it freaked her.”


“What do they do?”


“As best I can tell, they are researching psychic ability. But I’m convinced they are do it to use it, like a weapon. They get military funding. Imagine an army of psychic warriors.”


“Bad sci fi.”


“ That sort of stuff has been researched before. Like distant viewing. They’ve actually tested people’s ability to see things far away – like another country. Imagine the spy potential with stuff like that.”


“They don’t have that, do they?”


“Mixed reports. But what’s going on here is different. There’s something about Carthage that seems to support the research. Liza says there’s so much going on in the spirit world that other members of her coven won’t even live here.”


"Oh, right. One thing I may have found out. Nathaniel Slaney founded Carthage, right?”


“Yeah.”


“Well he might be connected with Simon Slaney, a witch who fled England for the colonies.”


“You’re kidding?”


“No, I stumbled across mention of him.


“So a relative of a witch started this place? You know all the old Native American legends about this place, right?”


“Some.”


“Well they avoided this place. But he settled here. Figures there’s be some witch connection.”


“I don’t know for sure.”



“It make sense. But I’ll look into it. Maybe make a feature story. Now, I need some food.”
Jack headed off to the kitchen. Frank was annoyed. He wanted to talk more about what happened last night, but Jack seemed to be avoiding it.
Instead, he glanced over his paper and saw no obvious mistakes or typos.
Then he thought of Joe.
Suddenly he had the feeling they did need to talk.

Pax et bonum