Sigh

A few weeks back I floated the idea of creating an alternative Catholic/Pro-life news outlet to cover stories that don't get covered.

I even got in touch with someone who might be able to help create an online site for the articles, and did a couple of interviews for one article.

But an old bugaboo has surfaced its head.

I am an extremely introverted reserved person. It's a strain for me to interact with a lot of people, and especially with people I don't know. This is one of the things that has kept me from performing my music as a solo performer in clubs and bars. This is one of the major factors that lead me not become a priest; when I was in the seminary the crowds that came for seminary Masses and the required socializing after made me very uncomfortable.

When it comes to my news outlet idea, the thought of contacting and interviewing people made me freeze up.

I'm good at coming up with ideas or working behind the scenes, but not with implementing or being the front person and the center of attention.

Yes, I've acted in plays, been Santa, played in music groups, and taught for 25 years. But in all those cases I was playing roles; I could hide behind those roles.

When I was a reporter, I had to screw up my courage to call people. Once I called or went to see them I was okay, but getting to that point was stressful.

It's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I more and more prefer not to be around people.

Maybe there;'s a reason why I like Emily Dickinson so much!

I have other writing projects - the Santa book, the poetry. I need to focus on them.

Pax et bonum