The Nativity On Ice

Every day as I drive to morning Mass I pass a multi-service Christian church/organization It offers Sunday services, daycare, theatrical performances, and so on. At Christmas time it also offers an elaborate Christmas celebration that includes various productions.

I have not seen any of their Christmas productions, so I have no comment about them specifically. They may be devout, joyful, and inspiring. If so, good.

What caught my eye, though, was the large sign in front of the Church promoting the Christmas shows. The sign included a quotation from our local daily newspaper.

"The Christmas Story goes Disney.”

Disney? And the Nativity???

Given the recent direction of Disney's productions, one shudders to imagine what the result would be if Disney did decide to tackle the Nativity Story.

I'm not thinking of talking animals or objects. That's actually been done by others dealing with the Nativity, and some of those efforts have been reasonably respectful and reverent.

But today's Disney would not stop there.

Imagine Mary and Joseph - both ethnically correct and quite attractive with singing and dancing skills - engaging in long, pensive monologues (with birds, camels, and sheep surrounding them). They likely would sing and dance as they decide to say "Yes." The journey to Bethlehem would include some sort of a travel song. Perhaps the donkey would have a solo.

And there's be an ominous song by Herod the Great, who, of course, would sing bass. (Herod Antipas would likely sing in a wispy tenor voice.)

I can imagine various innkeepers singing a song like "No Room."

The birth would be accompanied by an elaborate light show and choirs singing sume upbeat tune.

Meanwhile, it's likely one of the shepherds or the Magi would actually be a woman in disguise. Another one of them would possibly be gay or transgender, and be the wisecracking confidant of the woman in disguise.

There would be more songs and dances - maybe the Roman soldiers would have a whole dance routine heavy on drums.  All these songs and dances, of course, would set us up for The Nativity: The Musical on Broadway.

Eventually we'd have The Nativity on Ice.

And imagine all the merchandising opportunities. Mary and Joseph dolls. Angel dolls, Animals that will say, if you shake them or pull a string, "Alleluia."

Eventually we'd have a live action version on network television. with someone like Taylor Swift as Mary.

Given all the horrible possibilities, the local newspaper's review may have done the church a disservice.

Then again, the church did choose to include that comment in promoting their show.

I think I'll stay on the safe side and avoid their Christmas extravaganza. 

Maybe I'll stick to my parish's children's nativity play instead.  

Pax et bonum