wandered into a Denver marijuana store
where he was chagrinned by the cornucopia
of products labeled "Utopia."
When he was young St. Polycarp
religiously practiced the harp.
When a musical career proved a non-starter
he instead became a martyr.
At Nicaea, St. Nicholas
slapped a naughty Arius.
Since then he's found a list does fine
to help keep those who stray in line.
Too sick to attend, St. Clare
miraculously saw the service as if there.
Because of that vision
she's now the patron saint of television.
St. Rose
was plagued by earthly beaus.
To discourage their thoughts of marriage
she used pepper to spice up her visage.
St. Thomas Aquinas
was noted for his reticence and shyness.
But crack open a bottle
and he’d expound at length on Aristotle.
Irascible St. Jerome
was justly noted for his biblical tome,
but he was upset that no one would look
at his vegetarian cook book.
St. Dominic
considered using a sword or a stick,
but found that rosary beads
worked quite well for his demon-battling needs.
Pax et bonum
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