Thursday, June 24, 2021

"Marriage Coherence" (satire from Jeff Miler)


From: Conference of the School of Prophets
To: John the Baptist
Dear John,
Having heard your preaching on the topic of marriage worthiness and other issues, we request that further dialog with Herod Antipas be postponed until we can all meet together in person. The serious nature of these issues - especially the imperative to forge substantive unity - makes it impossible to address them productively in the fractured and isolated current setting. The high standard of consensus among ourselves, the Pharisees, Sadducees, Essenes, and others is far from being achieved in the present moment.
We are concerned that your weaponizing marriage does not follow sound theological and pastoral advice or create a new path for moving forward. We take this opportunity to re-envision the best collegial structure for achieving that. We are concerned that you have lost your head and are acting rashly. We consider this a breach of rules and customs with this lack of collegial consultation before addressing governing bodies and tetrarchs.
We look forward to dialoguing on "Marriage Coherence" and assure you of our prayerful and fraternal best wishes.
Signed,
Blaise bar Cupich

Pax et bonum

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